Fat/Fit Feminism

Do you all remember when I started this blog when I began my journey into pursuing health and weight loss? I still want to continue this blog. But, I've been avoiding it because I have no idea how to marry my personal health and fitness goals with being sensitive to body positivity and fat shaming. I try to just stick with what I'M doing personally, without talking on what anyone else is doing, but I'm concerned that isn't enough. I have read and re-read articles from both camps of fit feminists, "health at any size" activists, proud fat women, proud fit women and everything in between. I still struggle to know where I stand.

When I first started seeing my doctor, she told me weight loss will help with some physical and mental ailments I've been having. Since she has a doctorates in medicine, and I do not, I trust her judgement and I don't think she's fat shaming me. She gave me a cure, and I am taking that seriously. With her guidance, and the support of friends and family, I have changed the way I eat, am working out 3-4 days a week, and am choosing more active activities. I do follow a somewhat strict meal plan, and I regularly weight myself to see my progress. My doctor was right. I feel so much better than before. It has helped depression, chronic foot and back pain, AND stomach issues. Those issues, I believe, were directly related to the fact that I was medically overweight. I believe, 100%, that all of my ailments directly correlated to my body weight and generally shitty lifestyle. Not only that, but I feel empowered. I feel stronger. I feel healthier. I feel like my sword is sharper, so to speak. I absolutely think that's feminist.

Many of my friends and/or colleagues do not agree. I see convicting articles daily that say talking openly about what I eat, the fact that my ultimate goal is to lose a set amount of weight, and not being neutral about food is anti-feminist. It almost feels like my existence itself is shaming fat people, and I sort of feel the knee jerk reaction to defend myself. I know what I'm doing is essentially putting myself back into a position of privilege as a thin person. I don't take this lightly, and have read everything I can on different ideas and rhetoric regarding body weight and feminism. There's so many different avenues and beliefs, it can get overwhelming. I wanted to share with you some loose, ever changing conclusions on the matter to spark a discussion.  I do this knowing that I will probably get called out. Which I am ok with. I have friends and acquaintances that are about three thousand times better read and more educated on me, so it's expected. Encouraged, even. There is power in stating I don't know. I am giving full disclosure that my views on the subject right now are not set in stone, I am not totally married to them, and they might be wrong. I'm ok with admitting that I might not be a very good feminist.

Here goes. It'll probably be out of order but I prefer to delve into it by list.

-Being fat is a disadvantage in our society. We face belittlement, harassment, cruel words, being written off as lazy, careless and disgusting. We face a lesser chance of being hired than our thinner counterparts, and rarely get to see our bodies in the media. It is more difficult for us to find well fitting clothing, understanding doctors, and when we ask for help we more or less get ridiculed than get actual help. If we don't ask for help, and are happy with our fat bodies we get laughed at, mocked, or ridiculed. None of those things are right, and I do not advocate for any of them. I move into a thinner body knowing that I am accepting a privilege others do not have. I don't take this lightly.

-I do believe in body positivity. Accepting yourself, loving yourself, and the body that you have. This includes everything- weight, skin color, physical "imperfections", disability. This isn't easy, but I always encourage that idea first before anything else. For many this can look vastly different. Some have more sex, some have none, some eat donuts, some eat salad, some go for a run, some take a nap, some paint, some write, some lift weights. If you're not hurting anyone else around you, whatever it takes for you to accept yourself, I greatly encourage. I also encourage and firmly stand behind representation of all body types in the media because those are people who exist in the world. And everybody deserves a voice and representation. Fat people exist. I am one of them. They bring all kinds of beauty to the world and I would never require someone to be thin or fit before I listened to them. I try to animate the idea that there is more to a person than their body, and everyone has the right to be in their body, if they choose. Everyone also has the right to change their body in anyway they see fit.

-I also believe in science. I am not scientifically apt, and I am not a medical professional. So, I place my trust in the scientists and doctors of the world to teach me what I need to know. This is imperfect. For every idea or theory, there is one opposite. Figuring out credible and reliable information at this day and age is not all that simple and a lot of times people discover they are wrong. However, from what I have read so far; I will tell you that I don't believe in "health at any size." I think this is where I am going to lose people. Do I think health looks like the cover of Shape magazine? Fuck no. Do I think health comes in many different shapes, sized and abilities? Yup. But, overwhelming medical evidence suggests that being obese can cause a slew of different medical ailments. Chronic pain, depression, diabetes, heart disease, etc. Your panels at the doctor's may come back normal now, but they probably won't be later. People with obesity have a shorter life expectancy. It starts at 7 years shorter for class 1, and goes up to 20 years shorter for class 3.  With this information, I cannot look someone straight in the eye and tell them "you can be healthy at any size" if we are talking about physical health and obesity. The same goes for people who are underweight. Underweight people also face some of the same diseases; heart disease, stroke, depression, etc. For the same reason, I cannot say they are healthy either. These are notions that are accepted by the scientific and medical communities pretty much across the board. I take that seriously. To piggy back off science,

-I believe everyone can lose weight. This also required a bit of reading but, I don't believe genetics is a cause of high body fat. It's as simple as calories in/ calories out. Not gluten free, not sugar free, not atkins, not keto or paleo. Not 21 day fix. Not beachbody. If you choose any of these programs, and they work for you, great! Stick with them. But, it really only comes down to counting the appropriate amount of calories you're consuming and working off. That's it.  If you tell me you are eating only 800 calories a day and running 10 miles a week, and still gaining weight; I will encourage you to really count what you're eating. It isn't a trick. It isn't genetics. The math is really very simple.

But listen.

-I don't expect anyone to lose weight. I also realize calorie counting and working out is about a million times easier said than done. Things like disability, depression, life circumstances can absolutely affect this. Counting everything you consume sucks and it's hard and I don't expect anyone it do it, ever. Running is hard and it sucks and again, I don't expect anyone to do it. The cycle of depression can make things like pursuing physical health impossible. I understand this. I have battled those demons my whole life, and I know personally, the sheer weight of a mental illness can be. I know the sheer weight of money issues, miseducation, inability to find a job. Being a human can be deep, dark stuff. I realize how poverty can effect a person's health, and I realize that being educated on health is absolutely a privilege. My neighborhood itself is considered a food desert. That means buying healthy options can be expensive and difficult, and I would never expect someone to automatically have those skills. On the other hand, maybe you're perfectly happy with your weight, as are a self proclaimed fat person. Maybe you love what you eat, and you love your body exactly the way it is. That's freaking sweet.  And super rare. I am proud of you, I root for you and I love you because

-Your health is ultimately not my business. I have my beliefs about health, as illustrated before. I do think obesity is a problem. I don't think people with high body fat will be healthy in adulthood. But, it is not really my business. As a general rule, for all strangers, acquaintances, and friends who have not explicitly solicited my ideas-I more or less keep my mouth shut about it. I am not going to police anyone's body. Unless you have explicitly asked, I will never tell you your pizza is bad for you, or that you need to work out more, or that fat people are at risk for a, b and c. Chances are you either already know. And I want to give you as much freedom to do with whatever information you have because you are not me, and I am not you.

But,

-I am not responsible for your body acceptance. The pursuit of physical health is an interest of mine that continues to grow as a I learn more about it. I have grown to love learning about and putting into practice healthy cooking, exercise, and mindfulness. I have noticed exciting changes in my own life that I can with certainly attribute to my adaptation of a healthy lifestyle. Running makes me feel amazing, I am fueled by foods that are good for my body, I am more clear minded, happier, less anxious and more confident. I feel sharper all around and I can't wait to to become an even sharper individual. I personally, am doing that through weightloss and fitness. I'm not going to lie about that so I can make sure you're comfortable. Body acceptance has to start with you. I will not set aside my own interests and passions to make sure every single person around me feels ok. That is not, and can not be my job. I have to trust that I am trying my best, I am respecting the people around me, and that I am only giving health related advice to people who ask. Or, on my own personal blog. Because fuck you, this is my blog. I am a fitness oriented feminist.

I welcome any of your thoughts. I want to hear what you have learned about these issues, so I can better my stances. I welcome calling me out on anything that I might of said that you consider problematic with the full disclosure that you might not be able to change my mind. I am happy to have a civil discussion and I am open to learning. If you think my facts are wrong, freaking tell me.

What will be promptly not tolerated and deleted is name calling, sweeping assumptions and generally being a dick.